¿Por qué no?

Dear friends and family, 

I accompanied my friend David to a comedy show last Friday night. The opportunity to attend was presented at two in the afternoon, the exact time of day I find it hardest to be motivated about… well, anything. The work day is almost over (but isn’t quite), and my propensity to overeat by the time lunch rolls around leaves little zest to finish the day off strong. To make matters worse, I’d been hung over all day, and the only commitment I wanted to make that evening was to the bed I had ever so regretfully left earlier that morning.

But I went. And the show was amazing, as was the company. I laughed throughout the entire one-hour show, a two-man performance of the real life email correspondence between a con-man posing as the widow/son of a once wealthy Nigerian leader, and Dean Cameron, the show’s author and leading man, posing as a lonely, sexually wanton Florida millionaire just loony enough to fall for the scam (read the actual correspondence here -- almost too funny to be believable). After the show, the two actors even took up a collection for the number of scam artists Dean Cameron is currently engaged with. I offered my most recent fortune cookie slip (“You will travel the world”) and a one-dollar bill folded into the shape of a heart given to me on the day of my graduation. (I really like the idea of the “Russian model seeking help for escape money from her boyfriend/pimp/brother” walking around with my two items in tow.)

I digress. Why did I choose to go despite the strong desire to hole up and finally get around to nursing my hang over?

... ¿Por qué no?

My life has never been so promisingly affected as it has by these three words. Three words! Eight little characters (ten if you count the initial and final question marks, though the phrase has evolved to more of a statement than a question these days). But HOW my life has changed since their introduction. I adopted the adage from one of my best friends, Jordan. “¿Por qué no?” is the reason I made the decision at 11:30 PM to see midnight performances of Diplo and Method Man -- by myself; the reason I have braved skiing into the trees to follow my friends, despite the uncertainty that I would be able to ski back out; and, whether or not I gave the "philosophy" credit at the time, it may have been my biggest motive to make the move to Utah.

My favorite part of the whole thing is that it is not actually a reason (per se) at all. Rather, it conjures and pushes the questions one really should be asking. What do I have to lose? What’s the worst that could happen? I’d like to make it clear here that ¿Por qué no? does not give reason to be reckless. That would be missing the point.

If there is a good answer to the question – then there it is. Don't do it. If there is not -- go for it. Simple.
[Note: "I am tired/broke" does not qualify as a good reason - save the latte money you'd use the next day and take a nap instead.]

I must say, it is much better than the “say 'yes' to everything approach” I tried my junior year of college, after I’d just gotten my heart broken. I wanted to be irresponsible and carefree. I wanted to think it made me fun and adventurous. Spontaneous even. What I had really wanted -- and did not care to admit -- was to be kept busy and without time to reflect on my current situation. Needless to say, answering any and all offers in the affirmative did not produce good results for my self-esteem, my grades...or my liver. Plus, you get a wide range of funny looks when you tell people that that is the “new thing you’re trying.” Worried looks. Skeevy looks. Looks that make you feel like you should be committed.

I guess it is only fair to say that not all good things have come out of this new framework. It has led me to one less than favorable situation. One day in early January, while prepping my laundry, I found a piece of receipt paper with a phone number written on it. It was from a man I’d met a bar. On Christmas day. I decided to contact him. Why not? 

I met him for drinks that following week. The company itself was not bad. I even came home with a great story, as the former bassist of Train happened to be (belligerently) drunk at the same bar and at one point enlightened me as to the true meaning behind one of my all time favorite songs, “Drops of Jupiter.” (Not at all what I’d imagined, or artist interviews revealed, it to be). Anyhow, as work is a typical topic of conversation to cover with a new acquaintance, I told him where I worked. He showed up the next day. What a lovely (read: awkward) coincidence! “For business with your general manager,” he assured me (he was putting in a snow removal bid for our properties. This is usually secured prior to actual snowfall. Remember, it was now January). Afterwards, when I admitted to my boss that I’d had drinks with the surprise visitor the night prior, a concerned look formed on his face. He hesitated. “He’s been married to one of my former co-workers for four years now.” Excuse me? Say again? 

I met him one last time for drinks. 
"What'll you have?" asked the man behind the bar. 
With my strong love for irony in tow, I cocked my head, forced a self-satisfied smirk, and glared straight into Mr. Married's unsuspecting eyes -- "Polygamy Porter," I offered (the motto on the label: “Why have just one!”).  
"Now you've got him beat," teased the bartender mid-pour, referring to my companion's light beer. 
"Oh, in more ways than one." 
He caught on. I was on to him. He never called again.

In all respects, this take on life has led me down some unforgettable roads. It may sound cliché, but it is 100% true to say that this simple question has transformed my life, and pushed me to be open to a number of things I may have easily found excuses to avoid otherwise. I felt the need to share this wonderfully simple guide with all of you, since it has done a world of wonder for me.


So try it. See if you like it, and let me know. ¿Por qué no?

(Additional edit, September 19, 2011): Since the publishing of this post seven months ago, ¿Por qué no? has continued to procure infinite blessings. I have gone on trips to Florida, California, Indiana, and Wyoming; jumped off things and climbed other things I had no business to; and experienced countless "firsts" -- paragliding! tubing and rafting! paddle boarding! shark! (the last two are independent of one another, not to worry) ...just to name a few. It is by way of this approach that I am able to say I have no regrets about the use of my time in Park City. It is also only by way of this approach that I am able to jump head first and solo into my next adventure (it is quite daunting otherwise). It is really kind of unbelievable how unconditionally generous the universe can be (IS), simply by way of opening up and having enthusiasm for all it has to offer. I am thankful for this fact each day, to the point of actual giddiness at the idea of it all. Sometimes I feel like I could scream ... So I just did. I don't think I have to tell you why.  

Love and best wishes (and hopefully lots of adventure),

Jan

P.S. If I haven’t said it enough – Thanks, Jordan. I doubt I will ever look at any opportunity in quite the same way again.

Stock Exchange

Dear Family and Friends,

Jan. 28 Still dancing post Kaskade

If you asked me how I have managed not to write once in 3 months, I could not tell you the answer. I would probably rattle off some long-winded excuse about the crazy holiday rush at work in December; the lovely barrage of family visitors and the Sundance Film Festival in January; or the FIS World Championships and visits from college friends this past month. Additionally, Polly brought up a good point when she noted that any “free” time one has is likely dedicated to skiing (it seems to be a cardinal sin around here not to). In any case, I have pretty much failed at this whole letters back home thing. Normally, I would be disappointed for so irresolutely keeping my word. However, I cannot bring myself to apologize for one of the most exciting, demanding, and eventful winters of my life.

Feb. 11 Loving life w/ our visitors at The Canyons

Anyhow, this busy life has finally caught up with me. Once Jordan, Nick, Mike, and Roman left after their weeklong visit, I could almost feel my immune system hanging up an “out to lunch” sign and checking out temporarily. I would feel fed up and overworked, too, had I been forced to keep up with all my shenanigans. So, I resolved to take the week off, and this weekend is no exception. The only plans I have are with Netflix and novels; the only decision whether I want to do all this on the couch next to the fire or my bed with the space heater on. And of course, if your schedules allow, I’d really like to catch up on phone calls and Skype sessions with my loved ones.

For those I can’t connect with right away, here is a (somewhat) quick run through --

A friend asked me yesterday how I was doing on a scale of 4 to 29 (4 being suicidal and 29 being, well, I forget what he eloquently termed the high point). The first number that came to mind was 23. Maybe because that is how old I turned recently. But it felt like a fairly accurate estimate. It’s pretty high up there because of the aforementioned amazing past few months. It is not at the peak because I will always feel a little homesick (I’ve accepted it), and frustrations at work sometimes makes me want to gauge out my own eyes.

I know it is strange to consider, but I really do enjoy my job (for what it is, you must understand). I feel like I have gotten to a point where I can say I perform well. And my boss’s natural delivery of constant and continuous positive reinforcement, for all staff, is a lesson I hope to take with me throughout my life, in both work and non-work relationships. However, as is the case a lot of the time, I am already itching for more challenge, more responsibility, more variety. (Is it tacky to tell someone interviewing you for a new position that you are never content? Probably.)

Jan. 22 Bing Lounge

In the all-important arena of one’s “love life”, however, I am certainly not looking for the next best thing. Considering I have been more or less involved with someone since the age of 15, I am happy just to argue and make compromises with my own self. I admit that some of this indifference stems from not being over my last relationship. But as I explained to my friend yesterday, “I love him more than I should” is more like a background, matter-of-fact descriptor attached to me than it is a debilitating issue. Like my eye color. Wait. That is permanent. Maybe more like my weight – something I’d like to decrease over time, but know will not be an overnight process.

Lastly, since some of you seem to be curious, my skiing is improving. I don’t think I will ever (ever) face my tips down a double black, but at least blue runs no longer make me want to cry out to the nearest patroller on a snow mobile. I even went down my first black a couple of weeks ago. It was by accident (following my friends), to be sure, but I made it down just the same.  

To end with, I’d like to say what a good idea I think it is to take stock of your life and just acknowledge where you are at the moment. Maybe on a more traditional scale than say 4 to 29, but do it regardless. It gets a ball rolling, and the questions that come out of why you rated your life what you did are possibly better than the answers themselves.

Love and miss you all. Until next time…

Jan