¿Por qué no?

Dear friends and family, 

I accompanied my friend David to a comedy show last Friday night. The opportunity to attend was presented at two in the afternoon, the exact time of day I find it hardest to be motivated about… well, anything. The work day is almost over (but isn’t quite), and my propensity to overeat by the time lunch rolls around leaves little zest to finish the day off strong. To make matters worse, I’d been hung over all day, and the only commitment I wanted to make that evening was to the bed I had ever so regretfully left earlier that morning.

But I went. And the show was amazing, as was the company. I laughed throughout the entire one-hour show, a two-man performance of the real life email correspondence between a con-man posing as the widow/son of a once wealthy Nigerian leader, and Dean Cameron, the show’s author and leading man, posing as a lonely, sexually wanton Florida millionaire just loony enough to fall for the scam (read the actual correspondence here -- almost too funny to be believable). After the show, the two actors even took up a collection for the number of scam artists Dean Cameron is currently engaged with. I offered my most recent fortune cookie slip (“You will travel the world”) and a one-dollar bill folded into the shape of a heart given to me on the day of my graduation. (I really like the idea of the “Russian model seeking help for escape money from her boyfriend/pimp/brother” walking around with my two items in tow.)

I digress. Why did I choose to go despite the strong desire to hole up and finally get around to nursing my hang over?

... ¿Por qué no?

My life has never been so promisingly affected as it has by these three words. Three words! Eight little characters (ten if you count the initial and final question marks, though the phrase has evolved to more of a statement than a question these days). But HOW my life has changed since their introduction. I adopted the adage from one of my best friends, Jordan. “¿Por qué no?” is the reason I made the decision at 11:30 PM to see midnight performances of Diplo and Method Man -- by myself; the reason I have braved skiing into the trees to follow my friends, despite the uncertainty that I would be able to ski back out; and, whether or not I gave the "philosophy" credit at the time, it may have been my biggest motive to make the move to Utah.

My favorite part of the whole thing is that it is not actually a reason (per se) at all. Rather, it conjures and pushes the questions one really should be asking. What do I have to lose? What’s the worst that could happen? I’d like to make it clear here that ¿Por qué no? does not give reason to be reckless. That would be missing the point.

If there is a good answer to the question – then there it is. Don't do it. If there is not -- go for it. Simple.
[Note: "I am tired/broke" does not qualify as a good reason - save the latte money you'd use the next day and take a nap instead.]

I must say, it is much better than the “say 'yes' to everything approach” I tried my junior year of college, after I’d just gotten my heart broken. I wanted to be irresponsible and carefree. I wanted to think it made me fun and adventurous. Spontaneous even. What I had really wanted -- and did not care to admit -- was to be kept busy and without time to reflect on my current situation. Needless to say, answering any and all offers in the affirmative did not produce good results for my self-esteem, my grades...or my liver. Plus, you get a wide range of funny looks when you tell people that that is the “new thing you’re trying.” Worried looks. Skeevy looks. Looks that make you feel like you should be committed.

I guess it is only fair to say that not all good things have come out of this new framework. It has led me to one less than favorable situation. One day in early January, while prepping my laundry, I found a piece of receipt paper with a phone number written on it. It was from a man I’d met a bar. On Christmas day. I decided to contact him. Why not? 

I met him for drinks that following week. The company itself was not bad. I even came home with a great story, as the former bassist of Train happened to be (belligerently) drunk at the same bar and at one point enlightened me as to the true meaning behind one of my all time favorite songs, “Drops of Jupiter.” (Not at all what I’d imagined, or artist interviews revealed, it to be). Anyhow, as work is a typical topic of conversation to cover with a new acquaintance, I told him where I worked. He showed up the next day. What a lovely (read: awkward) coincidence! “For business with your general manager,” he assured me (he was putting in a snow removal bid for our properties. This is usually secured prior to actual snowfall. Remember, it was now January). Afterwards, when I admitted to my boss that I’d had drinks with the surprise visitor the night prior, a concerned look formed on his face. He hesitated. “He’s been married to one of my former co-workers for four years now.” Excuse me? Say again? 

I met him one last time for drinks. 
"What'll you have?" asked the man behind the bar. 
With my strong love for irony in tow, I cocked my head, forced a self-satisfied smirk, and glared straight into Mr. Married's unsuspecting eyes -- "Polygamy Porter," I offered (the motto on the label: “Why have just one!”).  
"Now you've got him beat," teased the bartender mid-pour, referring to my companion's light beer. 
"Oh, in more ways than one." 
He caught on. I was on to him. He never called again.

In all respects, this take on life has led me down some unforgettable roads. It may sound cliché, but it is 100% true to say that this simple question has transformed my life, and pushed me to be open to a number of things I may have easily found excuses to avoid otherwise. I felt the need to share this wonderfully simple guide with all of you, since it has done a world of wonder for me.


So try it. See if you like it, and let me know. ¿Por qué no?

(Additional edit, September 19, 2011): Since the publishing of this post seven months ago, ¿Por qué no? has continued to procure infinite blessings. I have gone on trips to Florida, California, Indiana, and Wyoming; jumped off things and climbed other things I had no business to; and experienced countless "firsts" -- paragliding! tubing and rafting! paddle boarding! shark! (the last two are independent of one another, not to worry) ...just to name a few. It is by way of this approach that I am able to say I have no regrets about the use of my time in Park City. It is also only by way of this approach that I am able to jump head first and solo into my next adventure (it is quite daunting otherwise). It is really kind of unbelievable how unconditionally generous the universe can be (IS), simply by way of opening up and having enthusiasm for all it has to offer. I am thankful for this fact each day, to the point of actual giddiness at the idea of it all. Sometimes I feel like I could scream ... So I just did. I don't think I have to tell you why.  

Love and best wishes (and hopefully lots of adventure),

Jan

P.S. If I haven’t said it enough – Thanks, Jordan. I doubt I will ever look at any opportunity in quite the same way again.