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Dear Family and Friends,

Jan. 28 Still dancing post Kaskade

If you asked me how I have managed not to write once in 3 months, I could not tell you the answer. I would probably rattle off some long-winded excuse about the crazy holiday rush at work in December; the lovely barrage of family visitors and the Sundance Film Festival in January; or the FIS World Championships and visits from college friends this past month. Additionally, Polly brought up a good point when she noted that any “free” time one has is likely dedicated to skiing (it seems to be a cardinal sin around here not to). In any case, I have pretty much failed at this whole letters back home thing. Normally, I would be disappointed for so irresolutely keeping my word. However, I cannot bring myself to apologize for one of the most exciting, demanding, and eventful winters of my life.

Feb. 11 Loving life w/ our visitors at The Canyons

Anyhow, this busy life has finally caught up with me. Once Jordan, Nick, Mike, and Roman left after their weeklong visit, I could almost feel my immune system hanging up an “out to lunch” sign and checking out temporarily. I would feel fed up and overworked, too, had I been forced to keep up with all my shenanigans. So, I resolved to take the week off, and this weekend is no exception. The only plans I have are with Netflix and novels; the only decision whether I want to do all this on the couch next to the fire or my bed with the space heater on. And of course, if your schedules allow, I’d really like to catch up on phone calls and Skype sessions with my loved ones.

For those I can’t connect with right away, here is a (somewhat) quick run through --

A friend asked me yesterday how I was doing on a scale of 4 to 29 (4 being suicidal and 29 being, well, I forget what he eloquently termed the high point). The first number that came to mind was 23. Maybe because that is how old I turned recently. But it felt like a fairly accurate estimate. It’s pretty high up there because of the aforementioned amazing past few months. It is not at the peak because I will always feel a little homesick (I’ve accepted it), and frustrations at work sometimes makes me want to gauge out my own eyes.

I know it is strange to consider, but I really do enjoy my job (for what it is, you must understand). I feel like I have gotten to a point where I can say I perform well. And my boss’s natural delivery of constant and continuous positive reinforcement, for all staff, is a lesson I hope to take with me throughout my life, in both work and non-work relationships. However, as is the case a lot of the time, I am already itching for more challenge, more responsibility, more variety. (Is it tacky to tell someone interviewing you for a new position that you are never content? Probably.)

Jan. 22 Bing Lounge

In the all-important arena of one’s “love life”, however, I am certainly not looking for the next best thing. Considering I have been more or less involved with someone since the age of 15, I am happy just to argue and make compromises with my own self. I admit that some of this indifference stems from not being over my last relationship. But as I explained to my friend yesterday, “I love him more than I should” is more like a background, matter-of-fact descriptor attached to me than it is a debilitating issue. Like my eye color. Wait. That is permanent. Maybe more like my weight – something I’d like to decrease over time, but know will not be an overnight process.

Lastly, since some of you seem to be curious, my skiing is improving. I don’t think I will ever (ever) face my tips down a double black, but at least blue runs no longer make me want to cry out to the nearest patroller on a snow mobile. I even went down my first black a couple of weeks ago. It was by accident (following my friends), to be sure, but I made it down just the same.  

To end with, I’d like to say what a good idea I think it is to take stock of your life and just acknowledge where you are at the moment. Maybe on a more traditional scale than say 4 to 29, but do it regardless. It gets a ball rolling, and the questions that come out of why you rated your life what you did are possibly better than the answers themselves.

Love and miss you all. Until next time…

Jan